Feminism: It’s Not What You Think
The thing about modern “feminism” is that it is meant to be provocative. When its focus is to be provocative, it is no longer productive.
There once was a popular radio talk show host that called the the ladies who lead and keep the “feminist” movement alive “FemiNazis”. As a new listener, the first time I heard him say it I laughed hysterically.
He’s right.
They are FemiNazis.
Some of the stuff you see and hear these women do some days makes me ashamed to be female. I’m not a “Nasty woman”, but that’s the tripe (something absurd) spewed by these types.
I read recently an article that had a title that gave the idea that women of a certain age group are not getting enough sleep. We were expected to assume it was another article about how to get more sleep. As I read it, I found it was a piece about how females of a certain generation are not getting enough sleep because they feel guilty that they somehow can’t manage to “have it all” like their mothers did.
I have news for that author: you’ll never have it all – and be genuinely happy.
Women of my generation were sold the idea that they can have the job, the husband, and a family and be happy. Their daughters and their daughter’s daughters can too.
That’s crap.
But you’ll never see that written anywhere.
And guess what? It’s ok if you don’t follow the prescribed FemiNazi diet for life.
I had a friend who worked at a big corporation in customer support for years and years because of the healthcare benefits. Her husband had his own business but they couldn’t afford the cost of private healthcare so she went to work to get the coverage a corporation would provide in that era.
All of the ladies at social events we attended, at the tennis courts and at the various charity organization meetings and other social events thought she “had it all” and she let them think she “had it all”. I thought she “had it all”. I came to realize she was allowing the illusion to exist because if she didn’t, she might have been viewed as a failure.
When I quit my corporate job to raise and homeschool a child, I was perceived as a failure.
She took me aside and told me that you can only be really good at a few things and that you had to choose what those things are. She said she was just good enough at her job to keep it for the healthcare and that’s all she cared about.
For her, it was all about family.
Her girls grew up to be perfectly adjusted women, one a lawyer the other a mom with three kids.
I had another friend who felt she didn’t “have it all”. When all of our kids were kindergarten age and younger, she decided to go to work. She landed a mid-level management job at a large corporation that involved long days and travel. The kids went to school then to after school day care, every day. Her husband was just starting out in his chosen profession so he had long days and long hours as well. Part of the reason she went to work was because her husband had to buy into his practice, but the other reason was so that they could enjoy the “country club” lifestyle until he was established.
We had many disagreements on raising kids. She wanted to be her kids “best friend”, I thought it was more important to be a parent and set appropriate boundaries. She thought homework was essential for success, I didn’t - if they didn’t get it done at school then school was failing them. She thought “James Bond” movies were sexist, I didn’t.
We lost touch when I started homeschooling, she told me I was really failing my child who would never graduate from a good college.
I ran into her a while back and I discovered that two of her three girls struggled to graduate from college; one was still attempting a degree. Mine has a STEM degree from a “good college”, top ten engineering school in fact, and is working in that field, debt free, and I was very happy to tell her this.
I am sure both stories have a whole lot of other elements that affected the outcomes of these girls, but the one of the common threads in both was feminism from my era. It hasn’t changed that much; in fact it has gotten nastier and more harsh on those who don’t partake and it has done nothing for modern young women.
Don’t beat yourself up too much if you feel you don’t “have it all”.
Focus on your kids and family. It’s OK. Really. It fills you up if you let it.
When we think about role models in the lives of women, there are many I could list who would be very different from who you would list. Our daughters need strong role models and I truly believe modern “feminists” are not it.
Queen Elizabeth II was one of my role models. She had it all.
Take care in sharing role models with daughters.
The thing about modern “feminism” is that it is meant to be provocative. When its focus is to be provocative, it is no longer productive. It hasn’t been productive in a very long time.
“Nasty Women” (search on “Madonna 2016 women’s March nasty”) and pink hats (search on “pussy hats women’s March 2016”) really don’t get it done and leaves you feeling confusedly outraged or empty.
Modern “feminism” stands for many things every day gals could care less about.
It has failed at getting equal pay for equal work; I personally dealt with that when I worked in corporate America.
It has failed at getting anything done regarding strengthening families. Modern feminism would rather see single parent families headed by women. That’s why we have the issues we do with fathers these days.
It has feminized males to the point where their participation in higher education has dropped significantly.
The people who mistreat women the most are the FemiNazis.
They silence any woman who would say, “Focus on your kids and family. It’s OK. Really”.
They especially hate women who promote the “Right to Life” and are anti “choice”. They hate any woman who doesn’t view the world the way they do, and that men are horrible, especially white men.
They have turned a generation or two of male children into feminized boys, I can’t tell you how many things I read where women can’t find a good man.
They are choosing the trans “movement” over biological women.
Let me remind you where they have failed.
Modern feminism has socialized men to the point where they now feel the need to defeat women in their arenas like collegiate swimming, cycling and golf. Far from lifting up women, the result of modern feminism is that men can have babies, men can be named “Miss Nevada”, USA Today’s “Woman of the Year” and can win an NCAA title in women’s swimming.
Modern feminism encourages discrimination against all women
Modern feminism encourages sexism in modern culture.
Modern feminists would never understand the concept of “stand by your man” (search on “Tammy Wynette Stand by Your Man” or “The Woman With You”, Kenny Chesney, 2004). I would bet, most of the prominent FemiNazis probably have never had a compatible man in their lives.
How could they?
Popular culture today is very good at encouraging self-sabotage, or “victimhood”. As soon as you allow yourself to feel like a victim you’ve become subject to someone or something else.
Don’t be a victim of feminism.
You can get through life without a man, but having a good one in your life, one that will stick by you, is a whole lot more fun.
And have kids, don’t miss out the best thing you’ll ever do. Love at first sight.
So, here’s the bottom line with modern feminism, it focuses too much on lofty issues, in being “nasty”, mean and provocative and never really delivers anything of any use to every day gals.
Focus on your kids and family. It’s OK. Really.
BOOKS
How to Sew a Button and Other Nifty Things Your Grandmother Knew By Erin Bried
Joy of Cooking By Irma S. Rombaur, Marion Rombaur
The Useful Book: 201 Life Skills They Used to Teach in Home Ec and Shop By David Bowers and Sharon Bowers
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Rush couldn’t have said it better himself …